S2 E2 Tommy Breedlove on to be legendary in your life and business
Tommy Breedlove from tommybreedlove.com talks with Melissa from ConciergeElite.com about his experience as a speaker and how he believes it is essential to be Legendary in one's life. He also discusses his book, "Legendary".
He went from being successful and happy in his early career to becoming unhappy and scared later. Reflecting on his life he explains that it was due to him chasing after things that did not truly make him happy (such as success or popularity ). He eventually realized that he needed to prioritize himself first and build positive habits to be content and fulfilled. This led him to develop a more fulfilling relationship with himself, his family, and his friends and increased success in all areas of his life.
Discussing the importance of self-awareness, leadership, and investing in oneself and one's people. He also stresses the importance of asking for help and being surrounded by those who will challenge and help you grow.
Tommy Breedlove shares some nuggets of gold from his latest podcast, including advice on how to find a tribe and join the legendary life leadership movement. He also recommends reading Legendary: How To Become Elite World-Class in Business and Life, an audiobook he authored. Tommy invites listeners to email him at email@example.com for more information about joining his community or attending one of his upcoming retreats.
00:08 Melissa Today's podcast is brought to you by Concierge Melissa B. Conciergeelite provides dedicated remote, front desk staff and virtual assistants to your office. We specialize in finding your office the perfect and right fit for your office and your office only, full or part time. Your remote team member is just that yours. We do all the hiring, the recruiting and training. Yes, the training. It's one of the things that makes us unique as we train your dedicated remote team member in your systems and software.
00:37 Melissa Welcome to understaff. Today we have the pleasure of meeting with Tommy Breedlove, a Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author of the book Legendary and founder of the Legendary Life Movement, a movement that empowers driven people to be pros in leadership, business mindset and their relationships. Tommy challenges high achievers to stop chasing the ghost of More and win and lean into the legendary leaders, spouses and humans they were born to be.
01:04 Melissa Thanks so much for joining me, Tommy. I appreciate it. Thanks for being on understaffed.
01:09 Tommy I'm humbled to be here, my friend.
01:12 Melissa Thank you. Tell me more about yourself. I know we did it at the top of the show and did your intro, but I'd like you to tell me about yourself.
01:21 Tommy Yeah, I live in the beautiful North Georgia mountains in a town called Delaniga. We were talking offline it is right at very near the start of the Appalachian Trail. For those of you who are hikers and it's just a beautiful part of the world, have a wife. We've been together since 1995. I met her when she was 19. I don't know what kind of poison I gave her, but we're still together, still happy and rocking, have two dogs, love to travel. I also love to lean in and help ambitious, driven entrepreneurs and executives, men and women, not only be elite and successful and in business and money and in their careers and all of that, but also elite and, quote, legendary in their lives and their communication and their friendships, but most importantly, in the relationships that are most important with them. So that's what I'm passionate about.
02:10 Tommy Melissa, thank you for letting me be here. Let's lean in and let's do this.
02:14 Melissa Yeah. So talk to me about legendary. We talked about that about when you talked about stop chasing ghosts of More and the win and lean into who we're called to be. Tell me about that.
02:26 Tommy So, absolutely. I have to give you a little background before I answer your question, so hold me to that in case I get called in the Tommy go round here. Legendary, what I love about that word is it's aspirational. If I said, Melissa, that Tommy Breed love is legendary, you would laugh me off the stage here from Texas. What I love about it is it's given to us by our network, our friends, our colleagues and those we serve and those around us in our community. We can either be a horrible legend or a great legend. It's aspirational to me and Legendary started as a book and I'm so grateful that it has become a Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestseller. By the way, if you're not a reader, I will read it to you on Audible, so there's no reason not to read the book.
03:11 Melissa Excellent.
03:12 Tommy Let me tell you how the book came to be, and I'll do this very quickly. I started when I was 18 years old. I come from humble, good, solid, blue collar beginnings. At 18 I had all these full rides to a university and I was going to be the first person in my family to go to in a godwilling graduate college. Unfortunately, I grew up in and around a lot of violence and abuse inside and outside the home. At 18, I became what I hated, and I committed a violent crime. I was looking at seven years in prison. Luckily I was dropped to two heavy misdemeanors, but I was sentenced to two years. Instead of being at University of Georgia or the University of Miami or some other colleges, I was in a cage. Really cool thing happened to me there. I'm going to get to the chasing the ghost of Bourne Wind, I promise you.
04:00 Tommy I'm going to get to your question. Cool thing happened to me there is an African American gentleman decided to cross racial lines, which is really rare in those institutions, and he was in his forty s. I'm 18, called me young blood, said young blood, you're not going to become a part of this revolving door system. With his love, his mentorship, truly showing me what being a man was all about, because I never had really good male mentors as a young tot. With his guidance and accountability, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, went to work for a nuclear waste container factory during the day, community college at night, and did end up back at the University of Georgia. One of the things I'm proud of is I went from a cage to a company called Deloitte and Tuche at the time, which is one of the largest financial public accounting firms in the world in three years.
04:44 Tommy Here comes the ghost of Win and more. I think all of these things are important. I just thought if I outworked everyone and became financially successful and successful in my career and had the corner office, the shiny suit, the fancy watch, the cute girl on my arm, that I would be happy. So fast forward 15 or 16 years. I had been recruited out of Deloitte to other firms, but my career was skyrocketing. If you would have seen me at 36 years old, you would have said, hey, that guy's going somewhere he looks like somebody. I'd made junior partner which at a very young age and I had all the status, all the shiny things. I was successful financially, had all the stuff and I was wondering why I was still felt alone, why I was still angry, why I was still scared and why I could never be Tommy, why I was putting on the arrogant mask which was just insecurity on steroids.
05:37 Tommy The guy who outworks everybody, ye who turns off the lights last wins, the tough guy, the important guy, the funny guy, the life of the party guy. When the money and power didn't light me up, I turned all of the darknesses that a lot of men and women do to make themselves feel better and whole. It almost cost me my marriage, my career and my life at 36. Here's the second go around and I didn't think I got a third. At that point, I decided to make me my full time job prioritizing me. I'm talking about physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally strength, confidence, humility, not cockiness, confidence, humility, and being okay with who I am and where I was going. When all of that happened, the most miraculous thing started and I was always chasing that ghost to more. When right, when I have this and when I have more of this, I will be happy.
06:28 Tommy Or when I get here or when I've accomplished this, I will be happy. The problem with that is like swimming to the horizon, the corner always moves, right? We've got to not only be grateful and be present and gratitude is not a ceiling, it's not contentment. It's a floor we stand on. For me, let me tell you the tangible results of when I stopped chasing the ghost to win and more and when I found out who I really was. The real Tommy Breed love. Not the fake one that I was trying to show to the world and impress others but really my money doubled. I went from junior partner to senior partner to international practice leader to elected to the board of directors at 39. Most of the people were in their 60s by network. I got rid of all of the negative Nellies and energy sucks in my network and started surrounding myself with loving, abundant, positive people.
07:13 Tommy I went from one of the most hated people in the firm to one of the most beloved. My marriage went from life support to strength. Most importantly, I found fulfillment, peace of mind, courage, confidence and presence in my life and true joy. That's when I stopped chasing the ghost of Morgan. It was just living a life of significance and impact. I never planned on leaving financial consulting or the public accounting where h***, I was a board member and a senior Parker and my future was set. My network started reaching out to me. Hey, man, what did you do? Give me some of that. Tell me how you did it. You're more humble. You're more quiet. You're more loving. You're a better leader. You're a h*** of a lot more successful. And you seem happy. How did you do that? They were eventually like, you need to write a book and you need to teach people the tools to not only be successful in business, but successful in life.
08:06 Tommy To have purpose, to have more time, to have more significance, to master their mindsets. And so we wrote the book. We stopped chasing the ghost and warm win. We started living a life of significance and surrounded myself with the best of the best. That has led me to you today. Thank you for letting me share of my story.
08:21 Melissa Yes, thank you so much. Your story is impactful and I'm sure you hear that a lot for many reasons. Because it really tells us that the decisions that we make don't define us. They don't define us. Yes, they shape us into who we are today, but they don't have to define us. You didn't have to become the guy behind bars. You knew to lean in and you had to learn that and the first time you made the mistake. And guess what? We make the mistake over and over again sometimes. That's a lot of my story of becoming a leader, is that I had to make a lot of mistakes and some of them multiple times before I truly invested in me. Because when you invest in you can invest in other people.
09:06 Tommy And we're not taught that, are we?
09:08 Melissa No.
09:09 Tommy The more ambitious and driven you are, we put ourselves last. We put our businesses career first, or we put our family and friends first and us last. Actually, that's the worst thing we do. Because in order to lead others, we have to lead ourselves first. In order to get full respect from others, we have to respect ourselves first. To get full love from others, we've got to love ourselves first. When we prioritize ourselves and get in the gym every day, not only the proverbial gym for our muscles and our bodies, but also the spiritual, mental and emotional gym, so that we become confident, courageous, happy, see the good in the world, not the bad in the world, become abundant. That's when our habits determine our success. Our habits determine what our life does. When you have the habits of prioritizing, you over everything else. Watch what happens in your love life.
10:03 Tommy Watch what happens in your friendships. Watch what happens in your business and success and money. It's incredible. And we're not taught that. One of the principles of the legendary life movement in the book is we must participate in our own rescue. No one owes us anything. There's no magic pill. No one's coming to save us. We got to go out and take it, look in the mirror. That's the problem and the solution. What habits are you going to build today to better than you were yesterday?
10:26 Melissa Exactly. Now, you talk about that story you just said about participating in your own rescue. I love this because it resonated with me, because I too have been in similar situations but never put the two together. So I love how you do this. Tell us the story.
10:41 Tommy Let me tell you the first time I learned that I was going down a very dangerous and difficult river called the Golly. It's in West Virginia, and I think it's one of the top ten hardest rivers on the planet. It has five plus rated rapids. That's river speak for it's really dangerous.
10:58 Melissa It's really bad, really dangerous.
11:01 Tommy And it's so funny. I asked the river rafting guy, and I was like, well, what happens if you fall in the river? And I hated his first answer. His first answer was, Follow the light, brother. I was like, no, I don't want to follow the light. It's basically me. Yeah. He goes, the truth is, you got to participate in your own rescue, right? If you fall out of that boat in a world class and difficult rapid, you got to turn over, put your feet up, look for the rope. You can't get to the rope or boat, you got to swim to your rescue. I was like, My God, that is the best wisdom for life, because we must participate in our own rescue. There's no politician coming to save us. There's no human coming to save us. No one owes us anything, regardless of what the 24 hours news tells you.
11:42 Tommy And we there's no magic pill. There's no quick fix. We've got to build mental, emotional, spiritual and physical strength. We have to prioritize ourselves. We have to surround ourselves with people who make us better, who are net givers and who make us happy. We must do the work every day to be better than were yesterday. When we do that and we participate in arm rescue, we truly become the captains of our ship. We truly become the puppeteers and not the puppets. We've truly become the lion and not the sheep. We really stop letting people who don't matter. We really start living a life of purpose, significance, and more importantly, we begin to reconquer our time. We become in charge of our time and not our time in charge of us. Because we know how to say no, which is worth 1000 yeses. We know how to set boundaries and we know how to not let energy and vampires into our lives.
12:33 Tommy It really just transforms us from A to Z. One of the things I like to say about our movement is we like taking people from ignorance to awareness to transformation to ultimate mastery. So that's what we like to do. Thank you for letting me share that again. Melissa, I think you and I are our sole sisters and brothers.
12:55 Melissa I've been several times down the river myself. Hearing that next time when I go river rafting again, I'm going to profoundly listen to that differently because it is we have to participate in our own rescue. You have to rescue yourself. Again, that's investing in ourselves. You talk about mindset, you talk about boundaries. Some of those things are the things I hear that you say quite often. If our business owners out there are facing challenges right now, which I think a lot of businesses are, our podcast is called Understaffed because it really speaks to what's the challenge that we're facing. Maybe it's not being understaffed specifically, but how do we feel when we're understaffed, right? We're in a frenzy. We went through COVID, went through all of this and some businesses are busy frenzy and some are feeling the pain of not having enough business in.
13:47 Melissa How do you challenge those business leaders and those people right now in those times?
13:52 Tommy The first challenge I would give to them actually, let me say one thing first. The first thing I would say is they are not alone. As business owners, entrepreneurs or executives, they are just not alone. We all are facing challenges every single day. There is no magic pill. It doesn't matter if you're scaling your business or you're looking for sales, or you're just starting out or you're seasoned, you're going to have employment issues, you're going to have economic issues, you're going to have leadership issues. So know that you're not alone. If you're an entrepreneur like us, we have chosen this lifestyle, right? We have chosen this burden, we have chosen this risk. We are a small but naughty team here at the Legendary Life Movement. We have twelve people in total. I take those human lives as seriously as I take my life. The first thing I would say is you're not alone.
14:42 Tommy The second challenge I would give you is who are you surrounding yourself with? Are you carrying that burden alone? Are you walking it alone? Are you leading yourself? Are you scared as h*** to ask for help or wisdom? Do you have a coach? I am in the helping people be legendary and elite in all phases of their business and lives. I have two coaches. I run, masterminds. I am in a mastermind. So who are you surrounding yourself with? What other business leaders? Because you can't build and live a legendary business and life alone. You have to surround your people with people going in the same direction as you. My first challenge is are you walking alone and carrying the burden alone or are you authentic and ask for help and seeking wisdom and guidance from a coach, from an independent mastermind and most importantly, from your community.
15:28 Tommy The next challenge I would give you is the number one failure in leadership and business is self awareness. If it's 100% knowing thyself and where do you suck and where are you world class, what are you doing about it? Are you staying in your zone of brilliance and really challenging yourself to focus on the three things per day that you are really good at or you get distracted with everything else? Are you afraid to invest in people? Are you afraid to invest in business who are better than you, who want to help you and who believe in your calls? Those are the challenge I would give you. By the way, knowing that the number one failure of self awareness, are you going to look in the mirror, what are you going to do about it? Are you just going to do the same thing you did yesterday?
16:08 Tommy Which by the way, is what 95% of the people do, or you're going to start leading yourself, investing in your self and doing the d*** work to be a better leader and to be an entrepreneur, or you just going to keep doing what you've always done, which is the definition of insanity. And if you're not growing, you're dying. If you're not leaning in to be a better leader, if you're not asking your people for help, if you're not surrounding yourself with better people and you're not doing the hard work to be a better human and later your habits will dictate your results and your habits will tell me that you are going to fail. If you don't do all that and when people are zigging and you're zagging and you lean in, you get help, you surround yourself with great people, you're constantly griddling, you're constantly sharpening your pencil, you will be elite and world class and badass and ultimately you will be successful.
16:56 Tommy Sorry to be so hard, but it's.
16:58 Melissa Exactly what we have been talking about if you've been listening on this series, on understanding, it's exactly what we've been talking about because people don't do it for fear. It's fear. They're fear based in themselves because they don't want to take that good look in the mirror.
17:16 Tommy Completely agree. They're not alone in their fear.
17:20 Melissa No, we're all fearful. We're all.
17:25 Tommy Look at the news networks, look at social media and we're always comparing ourselves to others, which is all fear. That's being a puppet, not a puppeteer, right? Ultimately, again, we've been beating this drum. Leadership is all about asking for help. The number one investment you can make, by the way, as a leader and entrepreneur and executive, the number one investment, there's only one is in yourself, in your knowledge, in your mindset, in your expertise. Expertise is just about doing the reps and becoming elite in what you do. But are you investing in your mindset? Are you investing in coaching? Are you surrounding yourself with people who will tell you suck when you suck and who will lift you up? The number one investment you can make in yourself, I'm talking about your mind, your growth, your opportunity, your heart, your spirit and your physical body.
18:16 Tommy The number two investment you can make as a leader is in your people, surrounding yourself with the lead A player talent. Let me tell you who those people are. Those are people who want to be around other A players. Those are people who want opportunity. Those are people who want challenge. Those are people who want you to care about them as people. The last thing those people care about is money because they believe in who you are, where you're going and who's coming with you. The number two investment you can make is in your people. Look in the mirror and how are you growing or how are you dying? How are you asking for help and surrounding yourself with people and getting great people around you? Or are you letting the financial and budget tail wag the business dog? And so that's what I would say.
19:00 Melissa Amazing. What nuggets of gold in this short podcast. I wish I had more time with you right now.
19:09 Tommy For yes, I know.
19:10 Melissa We'Re going to have to because this is amazing and I'm very excited to have my listeners listen to these nuggets of gold. How do people get in touch with you? I know you said you got several books, but where do they go find this?
19:25 Tommy Okay, so Legendary, which is a book all about self leadership and really becoming elite, world class, not only in business success, but life. Again, if you're not a reader, I will read it to you. It is in audio form. I hope my southern accent doesn't bother you, but you can get a paperback electronic softback at all your favorite bookstores and or the airport. If what we do if you're interested in finding a tribe enjoying the legendary Life leadership movement where we want you to be elite in business and in life and successful on both ways, if you want to surround yourself with men and women like us, the thing I would tell you to do right now is email me directly. Tommy@tommybreedlove.com. Tommy@tommybreedlove.com. Join us at a retreat. Join our community, join us at one of our experiences. Join us in our mastermind. We want to be the family that you choose to do business in life with.
20:14 Tommy So email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'm no guru. I'm no stage in the stage. I do not have it all figured out. I have to walk this stuff every day. I have to have people kick me in the face every day, but also lift me up and love me. So I'm right there with you. I'm struggling in this entrepreneur world. I get the efforts. I get the worries and insecurities. I don't know what to do. I have a community and support and a team around me to help me, and I want us to be that person for you. So email me at email@example.com. Most importantly, go check out the book. Go read the book. Go listen to book. It's fun. It's actionable. It's actually tactical. There's a whole lot of fun. It's short, and I think you'll love it. Thank you for letting me share that with.
20:53 Melissa Thank you so much. We appreciate you being here.
20:56 Tommy You're very welcome.
20:58 Melissa Make sure to subscribe and like our podcast. If you'd like more information on today's topic or any other product or service featured on this, make sure to drop us a line and say hi or visit anytime. Melissa b conciergeelite.com.